A post from April 27, 1980

 

April 27,1980

Journal entry.  I am in Petersburg Virginia. I am 32 years old.

 

Excerpts:

…I think of thirty-one years without much physical pain. Thirty-one years of seeing – of being able to see all the beautiful things of th world… to see the faces of the people who have been such central figures in my life, the peole whose faces remain in my mind’s eye at this very moment : my mother and father.. Sister Stephanie… my cousin Dick… Debbie Cotter…. Debbie Carey… Sara Bardoe…Tom McNaney, ill Keaveney, Jim Wambold, Lynda Cywinski, Toni Lutz, Maureen McCauley, Maureen McDonough, Sister Maureen Daniel, Sister Ann Maureen, Frank Reilly, Frank Talbot, Barbra McCune, Sister Margaret John, Karen O’Callaghan, Rosalie Ayres, John Whelley, Mark Redwood, George Marks, Bo, Barney, Joe Gallagher, Paul Philibert, Josephine Jacobsen, Ralph Harper, Frances Jackson, Sister Linda, Mary Ann Taylor, Msgr. Newman, May Sill, Mike Hast, Patrick Finnegan, Scotch Kincaid, Charlotte Tancin, Greg King, Sister Marie Therese, Sister Eileen, Sister Claire, Sister Mary Clare and Anita Harvey,Joanne Cahoon, and son on, just naming gthem like a litany, Lord, I send their names up to you and pray for all of them and thank You for each one of them. It’s really incredible when I think of all those faces, and what each of them taught me about YOU and about myself, too.

…Yesterday I was at the sink, washing dishes and looking out the window at the beautiful green leave, the whole green and blue world looked like a party. All I could think of was that Dylan Thomas poem, “Fern Hill,” “…it was all shining… it as Adam and maiden”

…I remember that in 1971 I lived without hope, as though my life were over. Now, in 1980, I live thinking that my life may very soon be over – but not without hope- now, as Paul says, I’d be glad to stay and live, but I’ll be glad to go and see HIim… but I am still afraid. ( There was an Iranian crisis in 1980 which I barely remember)

Then, a little later, I quote the lyrics of a favorite song from a rock group called “Fever Tree”:

 

We follow the river down into the stream
That's where my dream began
I left my worries to the people who stare
And dream without a care

That i'd always be beside you to watch the day and night
And we'd listen to the sunrise and feel its growing light
And peace will come inside
So quiet

Whereever we're goin' i dont know
For million years our love keeps growin'
The mystery deepens day by day

But trust my love and hear me say

That i'll always be beside you to watch the day and night
And we'd listen to the sunrise and feel its growing light
And peace will come inside
So quiet

 

And peace will come inside

So quiet

 

Guess i'll always be beside you to watch the day and night

And we'd listen to the sunrise and feel its growin' light

And peace will come inside

So quiet

 

Yes peace will come inside

So quiet

 

I kept writing for at least another page.  I do recognize myself in that 31 year old person, but oh, so much has happened to me and my world and the larger world since that particular April birthday.