I'm on a search

Have been in a sporadic email correspondence with someone I haven't seen or heard from in 50 years.

We only knew each other for two years back then, but he has appeared in dreams of mine many times.   It was a platonic relationship, but deeply meaningful to me.  It could not have been any way but what it was.

I know I wrote a poem that had something to do with it, but I can't find it.  The closest I can come is my poem " Were You There?"   which I wrote about 25 years ago... but when I looked at it as it appears in my 2007 volume Scattered Showers in a Clear Sky, the phrase I am looking for is not there.

So I've been searching through the back pages of the many journals I've kept, but still can't find it.
Sigh.