I can't help myself. Whenever I read an editorial or essay that supports my own perceptions of Trump, I just have to share it here. Even so, it is depressing but true:
Why Trump can’t change, no matter what the
consequences are
Tony Schwartz
In
April 2016, on the verge of securing the Republican nomination for president,
Donald Trump announced that
his “campaign is evolving and transitioning, and so am I.” At a rally around
the same time, he told supporters that
“at some point, I’m going to be so presidential that you people will be so
bored,” but “I just don’t know that I wanted to do it quite yet.”
Growth
and development are about seeing more. The wider, deeper and longer our
perspective, the more variables we can consider — and the more
capable we become. Likewise, the more responsibility we take for our behaviors,
and the less we blame others for our shortcomings, the more power we have to
influence our destiny.
None
of this is possible for Trump.
I
got to know Trump three decades ago when he hired me to write “The Art of the Deal.” Although the book became
a bestseller, working with him was deeply
dispiriting, given his almost complete self-absorption, the
shortness of his attention span and the fact that he lied as a matter of
course, without apparent guilt.
After
that, I tried to steer my life in a direction as far from Trump as possible,
and the next book I wrote was titled “What Really Matters: Searching for Wisdom in America,” an
exploration of people who had found success and satisfaction in ways
vastly different than Trump’s focus on wealth, power and fame. In 2003, I
founded the Energy Project to
help leaders and their employees pursue healthier, happier, more productive and
more meaningful lives. We’ve helped organizations ranging from Google and
Pfizer to Save the Children and the Los Angeles Police Department.
As
part of our work, we encourage clients to ask themselves two key questions
in every challenging situation: “What am I not seeing here?” and “What’s my
responsibility in this?” These questions emerged from studying developmental
psychology. Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development describes four
increasingly complex stages of thinking that we move through in childhood. As
we grow up and become less self-centered, our perspective gets progressively
bigger and more complex. Thinkers such as Robert Kegan, William Torbert and
Susanne Cook-Greuter have described the potential for further growth as
adults. Cook-Greuter’s
framework, for example, refers to “nine stages of increasing
embrace,” characterized both by deeper and deeper self-awareness and the
capacity to take into account a wider world.
Those
theories teach us that humility enables learning and growth — but Trump
confuses humility with humiliation and defaults instead to hubris and
grandiosity. “I alone can fix it,” he told us when he was nominated for
president. On multiple occasions since, describing virtually any
subject, he has begun with “Nobody knows more about ____ than I do.”
In
reality, Trump’s worldview remains remarkably narrow, shallow and short-term.
It’s narrow because he is so singularly self-absorbed, which has been
true throughout his life. In the 18 months I worked with him, I can’t
remember a single time Trump asked me a question about myself. I never saw him
engage for more than a cursory couple of minutes with any of his three young
children.
Trump’s
knowledge and understanding remain shallow because he resists reflection
and introspection and struggles mightily to focus. When I set out to interview
him for “The Art of the Deal” in 1986, he was unable to keep his attention on
any subject for more than a few minutes. “I don’t like talking about the past,”
he would tell me. “It’s over.” After a dozen interview attempts, I finally gave
up and settled instead for piecing the book together by sitting in
Trump’s office listening in on his constant stream of brief phone calls.
His
need for instant gratification prevents him from considering the longer-term
consequences of his actions. Instead, he simply reacts in the moment. This
helps to explain why he moves into overdrive whenever he feels attacked.
On Wednesday alone, as the furor around him grew, Trump tweeted furiously,
more than 20 times in all. “Nancy Pelosi needs help fast!” he declared in
one post, after the House speaker walked out of a meeting with Trump that
Democrats described as a presidential meltdown. “Pray for her, she is a very
sick person!”
The
negative qualities we ascribe to others are often those we find it most
intolerable to see in ourselves. Throughout his adult life, Trump has viewed
the world as a dark, dangerous place teeming with enemies out to get him. In
the face of potential impeachment, this fear has escalated exponentially. The
threat he imagines is no longer just to his fragile sense of self but,
realistically, to his future as president. Any capacity Trump ever had to
think clearly or calmly has evaporated. Instead, he’s devolved into anger,
blame, aggression and sadistic attacks.
When
people enter this “fight or flight” state, the amygdala — the lower part of our
brain known colloquially as “fear central” — takes over from our prefrontal
cortex. This wasn’t much of an issue when I worked with Trump because he
was riding high. Now, like a drowning man, all that matters to him is survival,
no matter how much collateral damage his behaviors cause.
The
only wall Trump has built is around himself, to keep his own insecurity and
vulnerability at bay. Ironically, his defense consistently produces
precisely what it’s meant to protect against. That is just what happened when
the Wall Street Journal broke the story of his attempt to pressure
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Hunter Biden. In an
impulsive attempt to defend himself, Trump released the transcript of their conversation, which
substantiated the very point he was seeking to undercut and led to the current
impeachment inquiry in Congress.
The
same thing happened when Trump suddenly decided to withdraw U.S. troops from
Syria. After even his most loyal Republican supporters condemned the action, he
reacted with anger, singling out Sen. Lindsey Graham, one of his
most vociferous defenders. Once it became clear that the withdrawal
was a terrible mistake, Trump reacted by writing a crude, bullying letter to Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip
Erdogan, threatening to destroy Turkey’s economy.
Trump’s behavior is
an extreme version of what we observe every day in our work at the Energy
Project. Facing threats to their businesses and uncertainty about the future,
leaders instinctively double down on what’s worked best for them in the past.
The problem is that any strength overused eventually becomes a liability:
Confidence turns into arrogance. Courage becomes recklessness. Certainty
congeals into rigidity. Authority moves toward authoritarianism. Feeling
attacked and aggrieved, Trump becomes more Trumpian.
The prerequisite to
growth is the capacity to self-regulate, which frays under stress. As an
antidote, we encourage our clients to practice something we call the “Golden
Rule of Triggers”: Whatever you’re compelled to do, don’t. Compulsion means
we’re no longer in control of how we respond, which is so often the case for
Trump. But it is possible to better manage our triggers. Even a brief period
of deep breathing, for example, can clear
the bloodstream of the stress hormone cortisol and return control to the
prefrontal cortex.
To grow, we need an
inner observer — the ability to stand back from our emotions rather than simply
acting them out. Trump is a prisoner of his poor self-control, his inability to
observe himself and his limited perspective. Refusing to accept blame or admit
uncertainty is a habit he developed early in life to protect himself from a
brutal father, whose withering criticism he had watched drive his older
brother, Fred Jr., to alcoholism and an early death. In Trump’s
mind, if he is not seen as all good, then he is all bad. If he’s not viewed as
100 percent right, then he is 100 percent wrong.
Growth is possible only when we can see ourselves
not as right or wrong, good or bad, strong or weak, but as all of who we
are. We won’t change Trump, and he won’t change himself, but we can grow
ourselves. The more we see and acknowledge — our best, our worst and all the
shades in between — the less we feel compelled to defend our own value, and the
more value we can add in the world.
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